God the Center of my life.

So I have always heard that there are friends,
good friends, acquaintances, and then there are true friends.

God has blessed me with many different friends and I am very thankful for each of them.

But I never understood the difference between good friends and true friends until recently.
I honestly can say that I have 2 true friends, a few good friends, many friends, and tons of acquaintances.

I have recently discovered that good friends are those friends with whom I can talk to and share my feelings and thoughts but are not deeply connected with me.
We may have drastically opposing views about God, salvation, Christianity, school, boys/girls, and just life in general. Those differences somehow separate us and keep us from truly understanding each other.

True friends are those friends which I feel completely understand me.
Those friends that would do anything for me and I would do anything for. Those friends who can sense that there is something wrong, those friends that can sit with me in a room not saying anything at all and still understand what I'm feeling and thinking, those friends that know exactly what I'm thinking without me saying a word.
True friends are deeply connected to me and I am also deeply connected to them. We understand each other.
This kind of connection is really hard to explain.... mainly because there is nothing to compare it too. This type of friendship is one of a kind and endless.
(My two true friends are Kelli and Mandy.)


On another note.....

I have also recently been going through a hard time in facing rejection.
We all have the desire to be liked and accepted for who we are.... and I just really have a difficult time when others don't like me.

There is this one person that doesn't like me at all.
This person is constantly rolling their eyes at me, making sarcastic and rude comments, directly and publicly ignoring me, and just making me feel so inadequate.
This person also knows that they make me feel this way. I have told them. I have tried talking to this person and to our friends about it.
I don't know why or what happened, if anything, but this person has made it very clear that they do not like me.

And this this bothers me terribly!! I honestly don't understand this at all. I just wish I could fix it. Or that we could get over whatever this is.

And thankfully one of my true friends is helping me with this issue.
She has also felt some of the same rejection from the same person!! There is just this feeling that we aren't good enough for this person and that we don't belong. Which angers me more than anything because this rejection is based on judgment.
I believe we are supposed to make some judgments about what is right and wrong but not if other people are "good enough" or "acceptable"

Sometimes people make excuses for not liking others... like "well she lied to me" or "he was mean to me" or a huge one that I hear all the time now " I just don't agree with their lifestyle" but really all of these things can and should be forgiven.

I feel it is especially hurtful and offensive when other Christians are the ones doing the rejection.

Christ accepted everyone, did not hold grudges and forgave humans for their faults.
We as Christians need to be more accepting of others. Whether we like them or not. Whether we agree with them or not. And even if they offend us. We need to "live out loud" what we say we believe.

Honestly, I think it is impossible for people to do what they do not believe.
Because doing what you do not believe in goes against all of our natural instincts as humans.
So if you truly believe that you are a Christian, and Jesus lives in you then Jesus will show himself through you. You will be living for Jesus because that is what you believe!!

However, I also believe that we are sinful.
And that sin can often times cloud our judgment and sway our beliefs at times through doubt. We will sin, there is no getting around that but when we do we should make amends. We should apologize. We should once again show Christ through our words, actions, and lives.

Rejection of other people is not Christ like and should not be condoned. But at the same time everyone sins and we are all guilty. Therefore I must still love those that reject me as Christ loves those who reject him. We must do what is right even when we know others aren't. We must live for Christ at all times, good and bad.

This really has been hard for me. And I have already learned a great deal. I am also a LOT stronger from dealing with this trial.

I will continue to pray, and would ask that you to pray, that God would show himself through me in everything that I do and say. Pray that God will remain in control of my life and that I will follow him with my whole heart. Pray that God is the Center of my life.